I found out the other night that my mother-in-law told someone that I was a horrible person and she wishes that my husband never married me. I’ve been so thrown off by the whole thing that I have had quite a few sleepless nights over it. I can’t figure out why she would say that. I also know her well enough to know that if I confront her with this, she will deny that she ever said it.
I’m the horrible person that cosigned on a car for her, and then she let it get repossessed after my brother-in-law wrecked it and then “fixed it” himself with the insurance money. She claimed the car was a “piece of shit” and the fun part is, she wasn’t going to tell me that she was returning the car. When my husband and I were over there one day, we noticed the car sitting in the driveway without tags on it. I finally questioned her about it and it was as nonchalant as it could be. As if she were going to the grocery store. Not adding a severe dent into my credit. I can’t afford another car payment – taking on the car for myself wasn’t an option. Plus, I don’t know what kind of damage my BIL did that he didn’t properly fix. Still, I didn’t say anything. I’ve known these people my entire life, and I didn’t want to cause problems between them and my husband.
This is also a woman that has purposely set two of her houses on fire to collect the insurance money. She did them both within a few years of each other and got a nice little payout.
And I can’t, for the life of me figure out what I have done to be deemed a “horrible person.”
I think it’s because my husband doesn’t go to their house very much. He can’t stand to be around his brother, who is drunk as soon as he hits the door in the afternoon.
Most recently he has started dating his ex-brother-in-law’s wife. She left her husband and took refuge at his house with him and his mom. My brother-in-law is a very predictable man-whore. He’s an alcoholic, a loner, and a momma’s boy. She shelters him and makes excuses for his drinking, claiming he “doesn’t drink that much”. This new addition to his life also drinks and smokes pot like he does, and so it seems they are a match made in alcoholic hell. Neither myself nor my husband want to be around any of that. I guess it’s easier to make me the bad guy in this scenario.
I am also still friendly with my BIL’s ex-wife. She and I had our problems in the past. We had a lot of problems, actually. When she and BIL were married, she accused me interfering with their marriage, and her mother blamed me for the reason behind their split. None of which I had anything to do with. My past with BIL is what always seems to get in the way of everything. Somehow my thirteen year old self is attached to my thirty-two year old self, and nobody realizes that the past is the past. The only person that doesn’t blame me for anything in my past involving my BIL is my husband.
Still, it’s difficult to know that the family I grew up loving so much as my own family, thinks so poorly of me – and for reasons that I don’t understand and probably never will. It doesn’t seem to hurt my husbands feelings too much to not be over there around them, but I feel like eventually he’s going to have to “choose sides” per se, and when he chooses mine, they will further blame me for whatever issue they have.
As far as the estate things go – I’m pretty relieved at what we found out. Because my step-dad adopted me when I was five, any legal right to be the daughter of my biological dad ended at that point. My half-sister is the sole heir of my dad’s house and all of his belongings. She’s also first in line for Estate Administrator. With that comes the responsibility of making sure all of his debt is paid. Also, she is now responsible for my dad’s mortgage since she has inherited his house. It’s up to her to sell it, break even or take a loss on the cost. She can do nothing and let the state have it. Or she can live in it and make his mortgage payment. This responsibility going to a 23 year old girl that has never had a full-time job and doesn’t even know how to file her own taxes. Now I have to figure out a way to sit her down and explain all of this in a way that her Vyvance induced state can handle.
My husband and I plan to take a cruise in February with some of the money my dad left for me. We never did get a honeymoon, and very rarely have time to take for ourselves. We also want to take a trip somewhere in the states that we’ve never been – just a weekend getaway at a nice hotel. He’s always wanted to go to Vegas. I would like to go to Key West. Either way, as long as we’re together, it doesn’t matter.