One of the things on my bucket list, that I’ve always wanted to do, is to go see a Clairvoyant/Medium. So, Friday after work that’s what I did. I had scheduled this appointment two weeks ago, and then found out more recently that this woman was the one that performed the marriage ceremony for my dad and his ex-wife (my half-sisters mom.) I didn’t tell her about the link, because I didn’t want to give anything away. I’m all about trying to figure out if who I’m dealing with is a fraud (you know, like that infomercial black lady Miss Cleo from the 90’s.)
I arrived at her business. Her little puppy twinkie came out to greet me. My medium was very open and welcoming. I immediately had a ‘nice’ feeling about her. (I rely on my intuition for everything.) I sat down and as discussed in our emails, I had told her that I was interested in whatever it is that came up through spirit – whether it was a connection with a deceased person, or my spirit guides speaking up. I’m pretty open for whatever.
So, I sat on the couch. Twinkie jumped up there with me and we hung out. She sat in a chair across from me and held these two purple crystal’s in her hand, and sat back and just closed her eyes for a moment. She asked me when my birthday was, I told her I was a Leo. She sat back again, closed her eyes, and then opened them and started talking very quickly. I was allowed to record what she said, which was pretty awesome because I can reference it now and really get a feel for everything she said.
Medium: It’s actually kind of ironic that you’re a Leo. Leo’s are very ‘in the spotlight’ and ‘look at me, look at me!’, whereas you’re a very ‘in the corner, in the dark’ kind of person. The kind of person that doesn’t want to be noticed, doesn’t want to be praised, the kind of humble person with the big heart that stays in the shadows. Leo’s have huge hearts. They are so giving. But most Leo’s want the world to know what it is that they are doing. They love admiration, praise, and have this kind of self-centeredness about them – which isn’t really a bad thing, because they are also selfless in the things they do. But, you’re unique in a way. You also carry a lot of emotional baggage from your past. You are the kind of person that wants to ensure that everyone around you is happy before you can be happy. You often neglect yourself, because you feel like you aren’t worthy of the attention that you should be giving yourself. What was your childhood like?
Me: Total Chaos.
Medium: *Flips through a deck of cards, looks at one, puts it down.* What is this about your father?
Me: That makes sense. It makes a lot of sense that it’s the first question you would ask.
Medium: He comes through. But, it’s not like that of spirit that has been crossed over for a long period of time. It’s kind of static.
Me: He recently passed, yes.
Medium: *Get’s this very strange look* ….. Do I ….. this is going to sound silly. This can’t be. Do I know him?
Me: It’s not silly. Yes, you do know him. I didn’t find out until recently that you did. You married him and Michele some years ago. Michele that lived with you for a while afterward.
Medium: Your father is Will? *Stunned look* Your father has passed? Oh my God. *Glassy eyes. She sits back in her chair.* Oh my God. He was sick? I can’t believe this. I didn’t even know he had another daughter. Your his daughter?
Me: Not many people know about me. He didn’t talk about me a lot, it seems. None of his friends knew about me either.
Medium: I’m sorry. I need a minute. *Stares out of the window for a bit*
Me: It’s okay. We can focus on other things. He is so newly passed that I doubt he will be able to come through this soon. He was terminally sick, but in a lot of denial as to how sick he was.
Medium: Some spirits cross over with no problem. Others go to what I like to refer to as a ‘Spiritual Hospital’. They are working on their transition, and sometimes it can take a while to become fully ready for that transition.
Me: I feel like, as he was dying … it was like his body was there, still breathing … but he wasn’t there all of the time.
Medium: That’s exactly what happens. The soul kind of tethers back and forth between their body and the spirit world. It’s the same when you’re born. Your soul goes back and forth for the first few years, and it’s about five years after birth that it finally settles down into it’s permanent ‘earth home’. That’s why you don’t remember a lot when you’re a child. Or if you do remember things from a young age, it isn’t everything because you’re soul is going back and forth between this world and the spirit world.
I asked her about how many spirit guides we have, and who they are. She said our biggest spirit guide is actually our higher selves, on the astral plane. She said “I know it sounds weird, but who knows you better than yourself? It applies to your spirit guide as well.” She said that different spirit guides step in at different times depend on what you need.
She advised me to get monthly massages as an outlet for the emotional things that I keep storing that have no outlet. She also suggested a type of yoga that’s done in a room kept at 105 degrees, with relaxing music to kind of .. cleanse the soul, I guess.
She said that I need to be doing work with children (not young children, but more teen-focused work) like a crisis help-line or suicide help-line. She said that kind of work is my calling. She flipped the cards and said school is not in my future. Thank God.
She picked up on the fact that I’m an empath. She said I’m a healer. She also said that I’m a lot more psychic than I know, but I have to get rid of some of this spiritual baggage that I carry before I can really explore the full potential of my abilities.
It’s kind of difficult to keep encountering people that he personally knew, that have no idea of my existence. That shit hurts. Why did he never mention me to people? Why is it that everyone knew of my half-sister in his life, but not me? Why wasn’t I a worthy topic of conversation. I know he was a private person, but everyone knew about my half-sister. That shirt hurts, man.