Starting Over

Published March 15, 2016 by dividinguplife

I had another blog, that I have had for almost three years. But, I made the mistake of befriending people from here, into the real world (or the virtual real world), where they learned of the people I spoke of here, and decided to become absolute monsters with their judgement. I also had real-life people reading my blog, and a (now) ex-boyfriend that didn’t like the things I wrote. Needless to say, that was a lesson well-learned, and I will never make that mistake again. I made my blog private for a while, only allowing certain people to read – but it’s really not as much fun writing about your life to a selective audience. I enjoy reading other peoples things and I enjoy feedback on mine as well. 

I’m a 30 year old divorced mother with an almost twelve-year-old. I remember what I was like as a preteen, and this part of my child’s life scares me to pieces. She’s a good kid. She is on A/B Honor Roll. She is at the point in her life right now where hanging out with me isn’t as cool as it once was, so she holes up in her room and Skypes with her friends. *Sighs* I suppose it’s no different than when I sat in my room as a teen and AOL chatted until all hours of the night. 

I work full-time in the medical field, which can be kind of odd because I’m extremely introverted. By the time I get home at night, I feel like everyone has sucked the energy out of my soul. But I wouldn’t trade my job for anything, even on the days where my boss drives me crazy and I want to throw everything up in the air and walk out. 

I’ve been divorced for seven years, and I’m now at the point that I feel I can get married again. So, I am. Next week, in fact. What’s even more amazing is that I’m marrying the brother of the first guy I ever loved, at the tender age of 12. If you think about it, it’s very weird. If you’ve lived it, it just seems like something that fell into place as it should have. 

I’ve been married, divorced, beaten, cheated on, two fathers – neither of them have anything to do with me, and a narcissist mother that will never accept the blame for anything that has ever happened to anyone. She’s always the victim. She always will be. 

I guess I will start breaking this down, post by post. The next entry will be the childhood portion. My middle brother being given up for adoption. My mother’s stream of men and drugs. Maybe through this, I can sort out why I am the way that I am. Maybe I can figure out who I am – though I know I have come a long way.

Feel free to follow, and I will return the favor. I love reading everyone’s stuff! 

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