So, what’s new in the neighborhood? Well, my husband continues to deal with the chronic pain of his ruptured L5 Disc. He had an injection about three weeks ago to try to help heal it. To top that off he has hemorrhoids and anal fisshers, which keep him in vast amounts of pain unless he it taking 10mg of percocet every four to six hours. Opioids scare me. I’ve seen what addiction does to people – namely my mother. But, he has to take them in order to keep the pain away from his back, because we are really trying to avoid back surgery if at all possible.
My daughter has entered a bout of depression, that I can’t for the life of me figure out why she would be depressed. I worked really hard to make sure that she didn’t have the same childhood I had, and yet I’m facing some of the same things with her, that I went through. She told a friend that she tried to drown herself in the bathtub, but when questioned about it, she said that she only said that. Still, that isn’t something you just say because you just feel like it. Something isn’t right. She has told her friends that none of us (my husband, me, her dad, or her step-mom) ever tell her that we love her – except that her dad maybe says it once a week. False.
She has a large bald spot at the top of her head, and she says that a girl at school pulled her hair out, but I have a hard time believing that. I wonder if she’s pulling her own hair out – like if she has some kind of disorder.
Her dad and I met with a therapist last week to see about getting her into counseling. We both have to separately fill out a 12 page assessment on her and meet back up on the 24th to go over the questions, and then our daughter will start individual therapy with her.
I’m tired. Last night my grams had a lot of pain in her stomach, so my husband took her to the emergency room. He came home and we went to bed because they said it maybe be a while. I had to go pick her up at 6:30 this morning. She has a kidney infection and all they could do was give her antibiotics.
Last night when my husband picked me up from work, I had to drive home because he was in so much pain from his anal fisshers that he had to lie down in the seat and remove his pants to let air move through his boxers to take away the stinging. He got aggravated with the traffic (Hello, it was 5:00 traffic), and it’s always no fun riding with him when he get’s upset with how many people there are that live in our city. I just stay quiet and let him rant. He’s always such a calm person unless he is in pain or he is mad at traffic. If you put those two things together, like last night, he’s almost rather like a child.
So to sum it up: I have a husband with a crap back and a literal pain in his ass. A grandmother that lives with me and has a severe kidney infection. My twelve year old has decided to acquire hormones and throw her middle finger up to the world, despite the luxuries she has (lap top, cable TV, lenient rules at my house) … and everyone looks to me to solve everything. I make sure dinner is cooked, I make sure husband has a plate in the microwave since I go to bed before he does (and I enjoy doing these things), I am the one that makes sure all of the bills get paid when they are supposed to (except for husbands car payment and our cell phone, which he handles). I mean, my husband does a lot too, he really does. But sometimes I swear I’d like to know what it’s like to just come home, change, and sit down straight away. Even when I was in high school, I worked after school and then came home and did homework and got up to start the process all over again. I’m tired. I think I deserve to be tired.