The Heat is On

Published July 17, 2017 by dividinguplife

Last weekend our AC went out. It happened to go out when it was 97 degrees outside. Humidity in North Carolina is atrocious. You can’t breathe outside. I called our landlord three times last Sunday, telling them my grandmother lives with me and has asthma. It did no good. By the time my husband figured out what the problem was, all of the stores were closed, so we had to wait until Monday morning for someone to come out. Saturday night it got up to 78 in the house (I keep the house at 70-71), and Saturday night the house got up to 86 degrees. I slept in the sunroom on Sunday night because it’s closed in with sliding glass doors that are screened, and we have a futon bed out there.

I thought I would be sad sleeping alone in the sunroom last Sunday, because I don’t like sleeping away from my husband. But, I realized that it was no different sleeping out there, than sleeping upstairs with him. We go to bed at different times (him much later than me), we stay on our side of the bed, we have our own comforters. It’s no secret that my husband does no cuddle, so there is no coming to bed to spoon. So, it made me sad to realize that sleeping away from him for the night didn’t bother me because it was no different than both of us sleeping in the bedroom. 

But, I knew this was how he was, going into our marriage. I discovered his lack of physical affection not long after we started dating almost five years ago. It’s still lonely a lot of the time – because we talk all of the time, and laugh and get along – but the physical aspect of our marriage is missing and will always be missing. I try not to complain, because he’s such an amazing guy, but I can’t help how it makes me feel sometimes.

Last night I had a dream about The Abuser. We were in a mall that was getting awfully close to closing time. I remember the food court was dark and it was just all-around eerie. Then suddenly we were in a field full of beautiful purple flowers, and I kissed him and said “I love you” and this his wife opened up some door to somewhere and saw us standing together.

I woke up feeling guilty, even though I can’t control my dreams of him, or what happens. Usually when I dream of him, it’s of his softer side (yes, abusers have softer sides) It may be because yesterday I got a text message from a number I didn’t recognize saying that they didn’t recognize my number and wanted to know who it was. I replied back with my name and asked them who they were. It was The Abuser’s wife. Apparently I wasn’t in the phone under my name. Maybe a different name? I don’t know. I can’t get away from her. I was just like “Oh, okay” and that was the end of it. But she bugs me so much, I just wish she’d walk off the edge of the earth with her homewreckin’ self. After nine years, I should be over what she did, but I don’t think you ever get over it.

We went to pick up my step-children on Saturday. We thought we would have them for three weeks, but my husbands ex-wife is a bitch and only sent enough medicine for my step-son for two weeks, knowing that we would have to give them back if he doesn’t have his medication. That was a bummer. We had a lot of plans for three weeks (originally we were supposed to have them for seven weeks, but she enrolled them in summer sports on purpose.) Now, we are going to take the kids to a water park on Saturday, but that’s about all of the time we will have to do something with them since I work during the week and my husband works until seven at night. 

Women like these two remind me of why I don’t get along with women.



4 comments on “The Heat is On

  • If the child’s name is in the pharmacy system the medicine can be refilled locally. It should have the insurance and everything already included. I’m looking at North Carolina very seriously to move to. It has been very hot.


    • It’s for ADHD, and is filled through mail order. As luck would have it, she just had it filled and shipped to get house. North Carolina is an awesome place to live. There heat isn’t terrible as long as the AC works lol


    • I barely remember replying to this at 3:30 this morning, as evidence by my grammar. Annyywayyyy. Yeah, so my step-kids shebeast of a mother plans all of this stuff out. Last year we were supposed to have the kids for six weeks, but she only sent enough medicine for four. We thought that perhaps we would get it filled again and she had sent all she had. Then magically she said she needed to get them two weeks early because they needed to get their shots for school. We told her we would do it, she said no. Then she lied about when they started school. We figured all of this out about a week after the kids were gone.

      This year she wouldn’t let us have them for spring break, but promised an extra week in the summer as long as we split the summer up where she could have them between. Then she enrolled them in summer sports and only let us have them for two weeks. She text me yesterday and asked when she could call and talk to the kids. She just saw them Saturday. She makes my husband wait a week to two weeks before she will answer the phone to talk to the kids, so now she gets to wait until Friday.

      It’s a mess. She never knew what it was like to grow up without a father, so she doesn’t appreciate the fact that my husband wants to see his children and be there for him. She just tosses it aside and calls him a bad father because he moved ten hours away. Meanwhile, my father lived 20 minutes away from me my entire life, and I saw him maybe five times in 30 years. Now he’s dying from cancer. My ex-husband and I parent together for the sake of our child. If he decided to move across the country, we would work it out. This woman doesn’t seem to understand or care that it’s about the kids, not about her hate for my husband.


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